Work, friends, family, work, friends, family.  I easily get wrapped up in this crazy cycle where I focus on everyone and everything around me, except… me.  I usually put myself behind everyone else’s needs and have noticed a difference in my health-both mental and physical because of it.  At first it seemed harmless, I mean how much could helping other people negatively impact me? After all, I’m helping others and that should be a good thing, right?!?  But, where’s the self-care in there?

Well friends, that’s right and wrong!  I think it’s very noble to think of other people before yourself but who is thinking of you? Who’s telling you to take a step back, breath, recharge and get ready to tackle the next thing? Sometimes it seems the harder you work, the more gets piled on you and the more you give to other people they come to expect it.  So, when is it your time to take a step back and work on some much needed “you time?”

I’m fortunate that my husband has grown to love my crazy signs of stress and being overworked while at the same time making it a point for me to take the time for myself.  He’s gone from just buying the massage gift certificates to gently suggesting this needs to happen now and we work together to make sure someone is watching the kiddos while I get my much needed relaxing time.

So, what does this all mean?  We need to make a conscious effort to take care of ourselves.  Not just say that we’ll do it after we finish everything else.  No more “just one minute.”

It can be really hard to do it ourselves and sometimes we need that accountability partner.  That person who is going to let us know we are a hot mess and need to chill out for a little while.  Identify and reach out to give them the heads up that you need them to text, call, email you to see how you’re doing and to be honest with you when they think you need a break!

If you think you can do alone-put a reminder in your calendar or add “me” time to your to-do list.  Make sure you hold yourself accountable if you don’t want anyone else to do it for you.  Set an alert on your phone, pop up on your laptop-something that will help you check in with yourself especially during those crazy times at work.

Since we can’t just go from barely any self care to spending days and days just focusing on ourselves, I’ve come up with 3 simple things to focus on first.  These 3 essential self care tips will ensure you’re at your best and able to live a life you love not only for other people but for yourself.

Get enough sleep and eat healthier.  


You can’t take care of yourself or anyone else if you’re a walking zombie fueled by only caffeine and your kid’s leftovers.  Set a bed time and stick with it.  That reality show or laundry pile can wait for another day.. go to bed! You should have at least 6 hours, preferably 8 hours a sleep a night.

Do at least one thing a day for yourself that you’re excited about.


It can be something as “simple” as listening to your favorite motivating song or grabbing a quick coffee with a friend. Just something that gives you space to smile!  You need at least a little something for yourself each and every day.



You’re probably always on the go moving from one thing to the next and not taking the time to celebrate.  Stop, right here right now and celebrate how awesome you are.  Go you and your bad self!  Celebrate how awesome that folded laundry pile looks-you deserve it!

What’s one thing you do for yourself every day?

Ready to cut out the BS in your life and just focus on living a life you love?  Sign up for my free live webinar where we will tackle our current struggles and go through my 5 step module for accomplishing what you set out to do.



Alissa Carpenter

Alissa Carpenter

Forbes Contributor, Professional Trainer, Speaker and Career Coach at Everything's Not OK and That's OK
Alissa Carpenter offers professional development and career exploration to companies, alumni groups, student advising units, and individuals across the country. She works to enhance team communication, teamwork and interpersonal skills with an upbeat personality and true passion for working with others to set and achieve goals.Alissa has an MEd in Social and Comparative Analysis in Education, is a Gallup-Certified Clifton Strengths Coach and is certified in the Strong Interest inventory.
Alissa Carpenter

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