Failure is a reality and something we will all experience-multiple times. Regardless of what happened, failure can give us this sense that we cannot accomplish what we set our for ourselves. It is often defined as being the opposite of success making it even harder to understand its significance in helping us learn and grow as individuals. While there is not magic pill that will make the feeling of failure go away, there are some tricks to help us re-frame our experiences.
Don’t let failure define you
If we all let failure get the best of us we would never get to where we want to go. Some of the most influential people have failed and used this as a stepping stone to get to where they are today. For example:
- Steven Spielberg was rejected from University of Southern California TWO times
- Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team
- Oprah Winfrey was fired from her job as an anchor in Baltimore
- Vincent Van Gogh only sold one painting before he died
- Lady Gaga was dropped by a record label
Fail Forward
Failure is inevitable at some point and life is unpredictable. We can plan long and hard for every possibility but it may not work out as we imagined. This is the time to take a step back, reflect, and learn from the experience to move forward. Ask yourself:
- What were my small wins?
- How did I use my strengths?
- What resources did I use that were successful and which ones could I tap into?
- Who can I reach out to, to talk through this experience?
- When I try again, should I approach it the same way or is there another angle I could take?
Take time for yourself
Going through and processing a recent failure can be really tough. It’s one thing to be ready to move on and pick up the pieces but another to get there. Take some time for yourself to process and even throw a super small pity party. It’s OK to have a few moments to cry and let out your emotions but don’t let this stand in your way of learning from what happened and moving past.
TED TALKS
If you are still working through a recent failure and want some more expert advice, check out these these 5 Ted Talks. They all provide a unique view on perspective, self worth, and how to define success.
The Power of Vulnerability
Brene Brown talks about expanding perception, shame and the fear of disconnection. She breaks down the differences between individuals that have a strong sense of love and belonging and those that do not and how this relates to our feelings on self worth.
Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance
Angela Duckworth reviews how learning quickly and easily is not as powerful as grit. Grit helps us make our future a reality by living life as a “marathon and not a sprint.” She discusses the importance of following through on our commitments and growth mindset.
Failure and the Drive to Keep Creating
Elizabeth Gilbert talks about the “difference” between success and failure and how to find your home. A home is a place that you “love more than you love yourself.” The most important part is to not give up on finding and creating your home regardless of the outcome.
The Power of Yet
Carol Dwek helps us understand that just because we haven’t done something yet does not mean we can’t. She talks about the difference between fixed and growth mindset and the importance of moving past the “now.”
The Beauty of a Misfit
In this inspiring talk, Lidia Yuknavitch walks us through her life as a misfit and her “missed” opportunities. She offers courageous advice to get through the moments when we feel sorry for ourselves and be grateful for our past experiences.
What Ted Talks have inspired you and what have you done to work through a recent failure?
- Cultivating Relationships - July 20, 2021
- Empowering Our People - July 13, 2021
- Finding Purpose - July 6, 2021
I always feel inspired when I read that other people, like Oprah, got a late start in life. This post reminds me to trust my timing. I’m only 25 and I’m still quite young!
Me too Chelsea! I never really thought timing was everything but it so is!
Oh man, I needed this! I’m the type of person that dwells on failure and makes sure everyone knows I’m miserable. But that’s definitely not good. Checking out all these Ted talks!
I am too Adriana! It’s so hard to move past and I admit I am a total work in progress! We got this!
I love this! You are so right! It is tough to not let failure define you but when you rise above it, it feels so good! I am definitely going to check out those Ted Talks!
I couldn’t agree more! It’s so hard in the moment to not let it get the best of you but so important to fail forward.
I LOVELOVELOVE ANGELA. She spoke in Adam’s class when I was in it, and it was fabulous, per usual. Watching the rest of these this afternoon…!
Coming Up Roses
She’s so incredible and I feel so lucky to have been able to hear her speak too!
I love the Brene Brown & Elizabeth Gilbert talks! They are definitely a must watch. I’ll have to check out the others, I haven’t seen them before!
xx
The Felicia Renee | a minimalist lifestyle & beauty blog
They are amazing and I am so excited to see Brene in October!
This was a good read for me. I love where you said don’t let failure define you. I think that you have to experience failure, in order to know what has made you successful…if that makes any sense. Failure is a part of life, and if you learn from it instead of making it define you…it can really take you far. Great post.
Thanks so much Marvina and I couldn’t agree more! It is so hard to not let failure (especially something that’s important to us) but learning from it and moving on is huge. Thanks so much for reading!!
Love this list of TED stalks you have here! Also love your notes about taking time for yourself and not letting failure define you.
Thanks so much Kiara!
Yet is such a powerful word. I have made a conscious effort to add it to the end of the statement “I can’t” every time I say it. It’s tough to remember at times, but I find that it is getting easier the more I do it.
I couldn’t agree more Rachel. The power of yet is so important!